Until You Believe
by Gagirl29
Summary: Set shortly after the letter debacle... In Jordan's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey, guys... This idea hit me last night while I was working. I thought I'd share it with you all. Just to let you know, these chapters will not be as long as some of the others I've written, but I will update frequently, so it should make up for it. :) You KNOW how much I adore your reviews... ~gagirl29**

**Chapter One**

Leaning my head back against the cold metal door of the locker behind me, I closed my eyes and blocked out the sounds all around me. People were passing up and down the crowded hallway in front of me talking to each other, laughing and gossiping. Locker doors were slamming to the left and right of me as everyone was getting ready for their next class. Shane and Joey, standing next to me, were yammering on about some show at Pike Street and contemplating skipping fifth.

Good old Liberty High. Nothing ever seemed to change in this place. It's like we're stuck in a stale routine. A routine that I was beginning to hate more and more with each passing day. The only reason I stay? So I can graduate. Well, there is really more than one reason. That's the main one.

I come to this place, surround myself with these people that I can't really stand, barely just tolerating them. Now I'm going to my classes, even English, because I want to do well. So I'm not the only senior who can legally drink when I do get my diploma. If everything continues as it has been, then I'll be able to make my great escape next year.

Sighing loudly, I lifted my head and opened my eyes. Instantly, my gaze is drawn to the right, catching that flash of red and lighting on it. Standing at the locker down the hall with all of her friends where I knew she would be. The other reason I stick around; just so I can see her.

She doesn't know it, but she's basically responsible for my new interest in school. Not only did she make me admit that I couldn't read, she also pushed me to get help for it. She made me want to do better. She made me want to BE better. For her. And now she doesn't even want me anymore.

That's my fault, too. I had to go and screw things up. Again. Where she's concerned, I never seem to be able to get it right.

Unable to tear my gaze from her, I stand there staring at her like a fucking idiot, watching her every move. The way she tilts her head. The way she bites her bottom lip. The smile on her face. How she tucks her hair. The way her eyes light up when she laughs. It all gets to me.

She gets to me like no other girl I've ever known. There's just something about her that pulls me in. Maybe it's her innocence; the pureness in her. I don't even know. All I know is that I can't get her out of my head.

I want to push myself away from my locker and go to her. I want to ask her to leave with me, just like I did all those months ago. I want to take her by the hand and get her away from here, away from everyone else and beg her to forgive me. To give me just one more chance. I want to tell her that I want her so badly that she's all I can think about all the time. I want to just BE with her, however she'll have me.

But I'm a coward, so I won't do any of those things. Instead, I'll stand here pretending like I don't give a damn. I'm cool, right? I should act like it. Not like a lovesick pussy.

Slowly, her head turns my way. She catches me staring at her like so many times before. Her lips stretch into a small smile, whether in greeting, or just amusement, I'm not sure. Acknowledging her with a lift of my chin, I push away from the locker and head off into the other direction.

After a full day, eight hours of cramming as much information into my brain as I could and only skipping one class to hang out under the bleachers with Shane, I had to go home to change before work. Working in my cousin's garage after school, changing oil and doing brake jobs, put a little money in my pocket. It wasn't the best job in the world, but it beat working at the mall, or worse, one of the fast food joints around.

I got as many hours as I wanted through the week. On Saturday's and even Sunday's if I wanted. Bobby, my grandma's sister's son, said me helping him at the garage was his way of keeping me out of trouble. In some ways, he was right. If I was working for him, legitimately earning my way, then I wasn't out running the streets with Tino.

I pulled Red into the driveway, parking behind my mother's minivan, leaving room for Joe to get out if he needed to. Joe, my stepdad, could be a real dick if provoked. That's why I tried to stay out of his way. The last thing I wanted was to get into it with him because I blocked him in.

I didn't want to give him any reason to argue with Ma, either. Mostly, they argued about me. About how Ma never made me follow that rules that Joe made up for me. I always did what Ma told me to do. Joe wasn't my father, though. That was part of the problem.

I'd overheard him telling Ma, only a few weeks ago, that he couldn't wait for her "precious son" to turn 18 so I could get the hell out of his house. This isn't his house. It's my mom's, for now, anyway, given to her in the divorce from my dad. Joe moved in with us when they got married four years ago.

It said in the divorce papers that my mom couldn't sell it, or anything. It was going to be MY house when I turned 21, having belonged to my dad's family for years. It was to stay in the Catalano family. She was just living in it until I became of age. With her new husband and her new son. I wonder if the bastard even knows?

Trudging my way through the rain, I pushed through the kitchen door and wiped my boots on the rug. Shrugging out of my coat, I hung it on the hook by the door. I heard the patter of little feet right away.

Joey, my three year old little brother, came in through the den and ran up to me. Wrapping his arms around my legs, he squeezed tightly. I said, "Hey, big guy."

"Hey, Jay." Looking up at me he grinned. "Did you bring me something?"

"Have you been good for Ma today?" He nodded his head vigorously. Kneeling down in front of him, I slipped my hand into my jeans pocket and pulled out the bag of Skittles he knew would be there.

Again, he nodded. "Yup. I picked up my toys and everything."

I would give him the candy, no matter what. I always did. It was my job to help spoil him, right? That's why I stopped by the gas station everyday to buy him something before I came home.

Holding it out, I said, "Okay, Joey. I got your candy. But you have to give Jay a hug before you get it."

He threw his chubby little arms around my neck and squeezed tight. He pulled back and held out his hand. I placed the red bag holding the sugar-filled candy onto his palm. Ruffling his hair I chuckled.

He wasted no time tearing into the bag. "Want some?"

"No, thank you, buddy. I brought them to you. You eat them." Rising to my feet, I patted his shoulder. "I have to get ready for work now. Why don't you go watch cartoons?"

I stepped over to the refrigerator and pulled it open. My hand closed around the last Coke can on the top shelf at the same time Joe walked into the room. We eyed each other over the open door of the fridge.

"Bobby called. He said take the day off. It's slow because of the rain." He held out his hand for the drink in mine. I handed it over, thinking it wasn't worth the headache to claim it.

"Thanks for telling me." Grabbing the milk carton, I shut the door and moved to the cabinet. I could feel his eyes on me as I poured me a glass. When I turned to put the milk away, he was still staring at me.

"Some girl called, too." Popping the top on the Coke, he took a long pull from it. "Angie, Angel, something like that."

I paused with my hand on the handle of the refrigerator door, lifting my eyes to his. "Angela?"

"Yeah, I think that was it." He turned, heading back toward the den where Joey had disappeared earlier. "She said to call her."

Why was Angela calling me? I thought she didn't want anything to do with me. Or that's how she acted after the whole fucking letter thing, even though she said we could still be friends.

Depositing the milk back onto the shelf, I grabbed my glass and set off toward my bedroom, wondering what exactly Angela Chase wanted with me. Knowing, even then, that no matter what it was, I would probably jump to it. It would score some points in my favor. With her, I needed all the points I could get.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: WOW... I didn't expect so many reviews on the first chapter. I'm glad you guys like it so far. I know some of you think I've stopped writing...I really haven't. I just stopped writing MSCL fics. I was missing Jordan, so I had to come back... I hope you decide to stick with me. :)**

Sitting behind the wheel of my car, parked at the curb in front of the Chase house, I fiddled with the knob on the radio. The knob that was broken, almost falling off. I knew it was broken. The only reason I was even messing with it was because I was nervous and needed something to do with my hands.

I was nervous because any minute SHE would be walking down the front path and climbing into the passenger side of my car. For the first time since that night a few weeks ago when I spilled my guts to her and she told me that it wasn't enough. After she told me she knew that I hadn't written that goddam letter.

After that night, she pretended like nothing had ever happened between us. Not just the whole thing with Graff and then the letter. She acted like NOTHING had ever happened at all. Like we'd never meant anything to each other.

She went out of her way to avoid me most days, staying as far away from me as she could. And if we happened to run into each other, she'd barely acknowlege me. Nothing more than a smile like she gave me in the hallway, or a whispered "hey."

The one time I'd gotten up the nerve to approach her, in the hallway after Katimski's, she'd acted like I was holding her up or something so I made up an excuse about why I'd stopped her. I asked her a question about the homework assignment, making myself look like a total moron. She already knew Linda was tutoring me. Linda, from our class, the girl who'd taken Brain's place when he told me he couldn't help me anymore.

That had been the first and last time I'd tried to talk to her. If she wanted to talk to me, she knew where to find me. I wasn't the one who had been avoiding her. That's why I'd been surprised when Joe said she'd called.

When I finally got the balls to call her back, she had asked me if I'd give her a ride to school the next morning. This morning. She said she needed to ask me something and she didn't want to do it over the phone. In an effort to make myself seem far less desperate than I really was to be near her, I put up a protest at first.

I told her I had something to do before school. I said I was sorry, but maybe she just needed to take the bus. She had sat listening to me ramble on nervously before she said one word, in an almost whisper. "Please." That's all it took. I caved. And now here I was.

She pulled the door open and slid in next to me, bringing with her the scent of peaches and cold, crisp winter. She dropped her book bag over the seat and turned to me, smiling softly as she tucked her hair behind her ear. It took everything in me not to lean over and brush my lips against hers.

"Hey," I said, moving my eyes to the road in front of us and putting the car in gear.

As I pulled away from the curb, I couldn't resist sneaking a peek at her. She was watching me, the small smile still on her lips. When our eyes met, she faced forward and crossed her hands in her lap.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully. "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem," I muttered, pasting my eyes on the road and leaving them there. I headed toward the school, taking the side roads from her house.

In the few seconds I'd looked at her, I had memorized exactly how she looked. Her eyes were sparkling, beneath her dark lashes. Her cheeks were rosy due to the chill in the air. Her hair was perfect, curling softly around her shoulders. Her light jacket hung open, revealing her v neck sweater. Her jean skirt hugged her thighs, stopping just above the knee to reveal her black tights. White socks peeked out of the top of her Docs. All of that, I got from one sideways glance.

My fingers tightened on the steering wheel as my dick swelled behind the fly of my jeans just from thinking about what she was wearing. It was crazy, really, how much I wanted her; this awkward little redhead. She was so unlike every other chic I'd ever been with, so unsure of herself and the power she held. Not just over me, but Krakow, and several other guys I had realized when I started paying more attention. You learn a lot, I've found, just by watching people.

There were lots of guys that noticed her, that watch her the way I do. She's so fucking innocent that she doesn't even notice them noticing her. But I do. I see the way they look at her and I know exactly what they're thinking. Because it's the same things I think when I see her.

The bad thing is, as much as I want her, want to bury myself in her, I just want to be with her more. I want for her to look at me the way she used to. I want to sit with her and listen to her go on and on about absolutely nothing just so I can hear her voice. I want to feel her small hand in mine, her lips against mine, her head resting on my shoulder. Anything, just as long as we're together.

Pulling into the school parking lot, a good twenty minutes earlier than usual, I shut off the engine and pocketed my keys. Sliding down in the seat, I laid my head back against the headrest and rolled my eyes to her. She was watching me, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. Her eyes dropped to her hands before she slowly lifted them back to mine. All of a sudden she seemed nervous.

"What?" I asked, ready for her to get it out.

"Jordan, I..." she started, reaching up to tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ear. "I was wondering, well, if you would be my partner for our English assignment?"

What? That's what she wanted? Me to be her partner for Katimski's stupid project? She couldn't ask me that over the phone? And why now? After avoiding me for the last few weeks, hell, the last few months?

"Why?" Rolling my head back to stare out the windshield, I asked, "Isn't there someone else you could work with?"

I let me eyes drift closed, clenching my jaw tightly as I thought about what she was saying. Did she really want to work with me? So she could be close to me? Was this one of her plows, like she'd used in the past, to bring us together? Or was it something else?

"Well... I just kinda thought if we worked together, then I could help you."

"Help me with what?" I snapped, sounding harsher than I meant to.

"The assignment." I heard her shift on the seat, the vinyl creaking beneath her. "You know, since I'm basically the reason Brian won't help you anymore."

So that was it. She wanted to help me because she felt sorry for me; Jordan, the retard who can't read. Not because she wanted to be with me or anything. She must be feeling a little guilty to have suggested it in the first place. I don't need that kind of help from her.

"I don't want to work with you." I never even opened my eyes, but I could feel her staring at me. I could picture her nervously chewing on her bottom lip perfectly behind my eyelids. "Thanks for the offer."

"You don't want to work with me?" she asked, like she didn't believe me.

I opened my eyes and sat up, turning to face her. "That's what I said."

"Why not?" She sounded as if I hurt her feelings or something. "Do you already have a partner?"

"No." Ready to be done with the conversation, I turned and reached into the backseat for my history text book and my spiral notebook.

Ignoring the look of hurt on her face, I got out of the car and started walking toward the steps. I heard the car door slam behind me. I felt her hand on my arm before I heard her say my name. I didn't slow down, like I knew she expected me to. I needed to get away from her before I made an ass of myself.

Gripping my arm tightly, she tugged until I stopped. When I looked down into her frowning face, she asked, "Jordan, what's wrong? I thought you'd want to work with me? Why don't you?"

Gently prying her fingers from my arm, I said, "Because I don't need your fucking charity, okay?"

Blocking out the flash of pain in her eyes, I started walking again, leaving her at the base of the steps.


	3. Chapter 3

Slumped down in my desk, twirling my chewed up pen between my fingers, I listened to Katimski go on about some dude named Poe. He was saying something about how all his writing was dark and tortured. This story we were working on, the one for the assignment, was called the Raven. It was a story about a man losing his mind. How fitting, that exactly how I was feeling at the moment.

Sitting behind her two desks and two rows to the right, I had a clear shot of her. I could see every move she made. I sat through the majority of the class just watching her. It was torture.

She spent most of the first half hour staring at the wall. I don't think she was paying anymore attention than I was. Snorting, softly, I thought, how would we get a good grade if we worked together? Neither one of us would know what the hell was going on.

She was slumped over her desk, with her head propped against her hand. Her head was tilted to the side, her hair was tucked behind her ear. Her jaw and neck were fully exposed, just begging for me to touch her there, to run my fingers over her skin. Her lips, so full and so ripe, were pursed, as if waiting for mine to claim them.

I was remembering exactly how those lips felt beneath mine, so soft and responsive, when I heard Katimski say, "So, I trust that, uh... uh you all have chosen your, uh, partners for this... assignment. I'll go around the room and you call out their names."

No, I didn't have a partner. Before this morning I hadn't thought anything about having a partner. I guess I just assumed Linda would do it with me since she was my tutor and in the same class. I didn't want anyone else to see how much I struggled. Not as much as before, but I still struggled.

Quickly, Katimski went around the room, row by row. When he got to Linda, she glanced over her shoulder at Angela, then called out her partner's name. It wasn't mine.

I began to wonder about that look, thinking about what it meant. I was still trying to figure it out, when he got to Angela. Sitting up straight in her seat, she looked at me over her shoulder much the same as Linda had done to her.

Lifting her brow defiantly, she turned back to Katimski and said, "Jordan Catalano is my partner."

Before he got to the next person, the bell rang. I grabbed my things from the top of the desk and fled without looking back at her. I told her I didn't want to be her partner. I don't want her to look at me like some ignorant idiot who needs her help. I want her to look at me like I'm the most important thing in the world; like she used to. If me spending time with her is brought on by her pity, then no, thank you.

I moved past my locker, where Shane and Joey were already waiting on me, without stopping. Shane took that as a cue and fell in step beside me. Joey shrugged and turned to talk to Mark, the guy who has the locker beside mine. We were out the door and under the bleachers before Shane said anything.

"English, right?" he asked, holding his hand out for a smoke as I took the pack out of my pocket.

I waited until I had lit up, took a long drag and blew it out before I answered. "Yeah."

Eying me, he said, "So, by the pissed off look on your face, I know Red did something."

"You don't know shit." He was right, but I didn't want to talk about it. Her.

"Come on, Catalano. I know she did something. She's the only one who gets to you like this." Sliding the toe of his sneaker through the dirt, he said, "It's alright, don't tell me." I never did, so he let it go easily. He changed the subject, asking instead about rehearsal for Residue.

I shrugged, not really caring about that either. I had to work this afternoon, too. None of it mattered at the moment. She was dominating my thoughts, pushing everything else aside.

Why couldn't I just get her out of my damn head? And why was she all of a sudden pushing this shit on me about the English project? Couldn't she have worked with that Cherski chic? Or her friend Ricky? Or even Brain? Well, not Brain, but... Why did she have to pick me?

Flicking my half-smoked cigarette to the dirt, I ground it out with the toe of my boot and bent to pick my books up from where I'd dropped them at my feet. Nodding my head at Shane, I called, "later," and set off toward my car. It didn't matter that I was skipping last. I just needed to get out of here.

I wasn't ready to go to work yet, so I went home. Joe wasn't there. He wouldn't be home for an hour still. I could get Ma to fix me something to eat before I went to the garage. Maybe spend some time with Joey, too.

As soon as I walked in the door, Ma was making me a sandwich. With it came the lecture about skipping school. "Jay, you have to go to your classes. You shouldn't be skipping any of them."

Emily Catalano Roberts isn't the perfect mother, by far, but she loves me and Joey. "My boys were are my life", she says all the time. That's why she let me get away with half of the shit I do. Even if my dad and Joe both give her crap about it.

"It was just shop, Ma. I think I've got that one down." Taking the sandwich from her hand, I leaned back against the counter and took a big bite. "I went to all the important ones."

She reached up to brush the hair out of my face as she regarded me thoughtfully. "Still, Jay. School is important."

"Yeah, I know." Shrugging away from her touch, I went to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice. Pouring myself a large glass, I said, "I'll go to every class tomorrow. I just needed to get out of there today."

My mom, teenaged mother and high school drop out, told me all the time that school was important. That didn't make me want to go any more than I already did. Only one thing, one person, had been able to do that. Somehow she made me do a lot of things I didn't used to do. And here I was thinking about her again. Dammit.

Taking my half-eaten sandwich and my glass juice, I stepped around my mom and followed the sound of cartoons into the den. Joey, sprawled out on the floor, looking up at me when I entered the room. His little face lit up at the sight of me.

"Jay, you're home!" he exclaimed, getting to his feet and running to hug me. Following me to the sofa, he crawled up beside me. "Wanna watch cartoons with me?"

"Yep. For a little while, then I gotta go to work." I offered him a bite of my ham and cheese, then tucked him against my side as I finished it.

As soon as I set my empty juice glass aside, Joey climbed into my lap. He snuggled close, resting his head on my shoulder. Just for a little while, I forgot about everything, about her, and enjoyed the company of my little brother. With him, it was easy, I didn't have to always guess what he wanted. Just a little bit of my time would do.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the support I've gotten so far on this little story. As always, I love reading your reviews. Thanks! ~gagirl29**

"I didn't feel like it," was my response to Shane asking why I hadn't shown up for rehearsal the night before.

I hadn't felt like it. By the time I'd gotten off work, went home to shower and ate some of the dinner my mom had warming for me, I hadn't felt like going back out again. Instead, I'd went up to my room and listened to the radio while I did what homework I could by myself. I finished my algebra. I tried to answer the questions for physical science. Then I picked up my copy of The Raven and sat propped against my pillows reading what I could.

As I'd went along, I highlighted the words that I didn't know. That was easiest for me. Then I could go back later and ask Linda what they meant. She never seemed to mind when I asked her stuff like that. She said she just wanted to help.

In a lot of ways she reminded me of Brain. She was really smart. And she was really patient. She never made feel stupid or anything. The way she explained things made it all so much easier. Sometimes I missed having Brain around, but I knew it would probably be awkward for both of us now. Linda was working out just fine.

I sat on my bed reading for a long time. I sat there so long I got through forty pages. That was a lot for me. I was proud of myself. Usually, I gave up before I finished the first chapter, so this was a good start.

I don't know why I felt like reading in the first place. Or maybe I did know why. Maybe it was because of her, the girl who was fast approaching where I sat with Shane on the back of my car. Maybe I didn't want to look like a complete idiot in front of her when we worked on this stupid project together.

Shane caught a glimpse of her striding toward us and slid from his seat. "Later," he muttered, heading in the direction of the bleachers. Chicken shit, I thought, frowning at his retreating back.

Her steps slowed when she was almost in front of me. "Hey," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear, the way she always did when she was nervous. She leaned against the trunk beside me, a little closer than I expected her to.

"Hey." Catching a wiff of her scent, I glanced away from her. Why was she leaning so close to me? Did she even know what she was doing?

"Look, I know you said you didn't want to work with me," she rushed out. I turned back to find her face close to mine. "But I want you to be my partner. Not that I think you need the help or anything. Just that I want to work with you."

Crossing my arms over my chest, more in an effort to keep from reaching for her than anything else, I asked, "Why?" Why now? When she's wanted nothing to do with me?

"Because," was her answer. Nothing else, just because. That wasn't good enough.

"I thought you wanted me to leave you alone?" I sneered. This wasn't making sense.

"I never said that, Jordan." She laid her hand on my leg, just above my knee. "I just needed some time to think about things."

I looked down to where her hand was lying on my leg, then back up to her face. Her expression was hard to read. Her body language wasn't. Why was she so confusing?

"What things? Like how you want to be with Brain instead of me?" Yeah, it was a low blow, but that's what she implied, isn't it? I really didn't expect her to answer me, but she did.

"That's not how it was. I didn't want to be with him. I just thought I owed it to him to clear the air between us." She leaned into my arm and continued softly, "I didn't want to hurt him."

So it was okay to hurt me instead? She'd flat out ignored me for weeks and now because she was ready to talk to me again it was supposed to be alright? It wasn't alright. I wasn't alright.

Separating myself from her, I slid to the ground and put some distance between us. Holding my hands out in front of me, I found myself asking, "What do you want from me, Angela?"

Her brow pinched into a frown as she worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Softly, she spoke. "To be your friend again."

"My friend?" How fucking nice. She wants to be my friend.

"Yes." She looked down at her feet and said, "I miss you."

"As a friend?" This was starting to feel like that night all over again. "What if I don't want to be your friend?"

"We were friends before, weren't we?" She seemed to be on the verge of tears, but I couldn't make myself care at the moment.

"We aren't friends, Angela." Stepping around her, I started walking toward the front steps of the school as the bell was ringing.

She fell into step beside me, hurrying to keep up. "What about the assignment?"

I stopped, taking her by the arm and making her stop, too. Pushing my face close to hers, I ground out, "We'll do this project together. Then you can find someone else to be your FRIEND. I'm done."

Scowling at her angrily, I spun away and stalked toward the building. She wanted to be my friend. Yeah, like that was going to work.

Heading into History, I tried to block her from my mind. That worked for all of ten minutes, then I was back to thinking about her again. Through that class and the next, all I could think about was her green eyes shimmering with unshod tears. I could close my eyes and see her brow creased and her lips quivering. No doubt, after I walked off, she had stood there crying. It wasn't the first time I'd made her cry.

The day we broke up, she had cried. The night she told me we couldn't be together because of what I'd done, giving her that fucking letter, she had cried. I'm sure there were more times that I didn't even know about. It made me feel like dirt, knowing that I hurt her. That I always seemed to be hurting her. It didn't matter that she had hurt me, too.

As the time passed, I found myself wanting to go to her, to make sure she was okay. I wanted to apologize for being a dick and tell her, yeah, we could be friends. If that's what she really wanted. Having her as a friend was better than nothing at all. At least I'd have an excuse to be around her that way.

By the time I got to Katimski's, I'd talked myself out of that, too. I decided to write her a note. A note from me, written by me. To tell her I was sorry. That had to count for something, right?

On a piece of notebook paper, I scrawled, "Ang, I am sorry. I was mean. I will take you home. OK?"

I folded it neatly, then I got up to sharpen my pencil, intentionally passing by her desk on the way back. She looked up at me. Her eyes met mine when I was standing right next to her. The sadness I saw there made me believe I was doing the right thing. I didn't want her to be sad.

I dropped the note next to her hand and walked back to my desk. Holding my breath, I watched as she opened it, reading over it quickly. When she turned to look at me, the corners of her mouth were tilted into a small smile. She nodded to me and went back to the work in front of her.

I didn't know what was going to happen later, but for now, everything was alright again. I picked up my freshly sharpened pencil and started trying to dissect the sentences that Katimski had written on the board. That's really why I was here in the first place.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks to the ones of you who are reviewing. The reviews really do help to motivate us writers. We like to know that people enjoy what we do... We work hard on this stuff, you know?**

**I have to say, I'm saddened by the lack of activity on the MSCL fics page. What happened? I know I'm guilty of leaving the unfinished stories, too...but there are some really good ones left open on here. PLEASE come back, ladies! DC, I miss your Jordan. Pansyass, blackbirdfly2.0 and Euphrosyne-222, I need more. Nutmeag and Sockmonkeyaccounts, you guys must continue! And where the hell is LuvJordan? We've ALL been waiting patiently for your next update, woman! Let's bring the site out of hibernation...**

She was saying something to me. Something about the plot of the story. Something important that we had to know in order to construct our outline for the story. Whatever it is she was saying was completely lost on me. I was too distracted by her closeness to even pay attention. For over a half hour I'd been caught up in her as she talked about the stupid book.

I should have known better than to agree to this after school meeting at her house. Her big, empty house. Completely empty, except for me and her. And my raging hormones.

I heard the melodious sound of her voice as she spoke. I felt the heat from her arm where it rested next to me on the sofa cushion. My eyes followed her fingers as they traced absently over the lettering on the cover of the book in her lap. I wished in that moment that I was that book and that she was touching me that way...

Clearing my throat to cover a moan, I lifted my eyes back to her face to find her watching me. It took me a moment to realize that she'd stopped talking. I shifted in my seat, trying to play it cool, but I failed miserably. I could feel my face flush under her gaze.

"Jordan, are you even paying attention to me?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

YES. I was paying very close attention to her. That was the problem.

"Yeah," I replied indignantly. Dropping my chin forward, I let my hair fall to curtain my face, shielding it from her. "Of course."

"Then what did I just say?" The cushion dipped as she shifted toward me.

"I dunno," I muttered, rolling my eyes up to meet hers. I expected her to be annoyed, but she wasn't. She was smiling at me. I couldn't stop the sheepish grin from stretching across my lips. "What were you saying?"

Honestly, at the moment, I didn't give a fuck about this freakin' project. I didn't care about English or Katimski, or Liberty High. Or any of the other excuses for why I was where I am now. The only thing that mattered was the girl beside me smiling beautifully at me for the first time in months.

What I wouldn't give to have her smile at me like this forever...

Her tongue darted out, drawing my attention, as it swept over her bottom lip. "I was saying that we have three more weeks to work on this."

Squirming in my seat, I adjusted the notebook lying in my lap, making sure it was hiding my growing hard on from her. Shrugging my shoulder, I said, "We have plenty of time."

She touched my arm tentatively, angling her body closer to mine, before letting her hand rest there. "Oh, I know." My whole body tensed waiting to see what she was going to do. "I just meant that we should get together after school, and like, maybe you could start taking me to school again so we can go over it then, too."

I studied her face, so close to mine, trying to read between the lines. From the way she was sitting, the way she was touching me, I was sure that what she was saying had no relation to the assignment at all. Or maybe I was wrong and that's all she wanted; to get a good grade. If that were the case, she should have picked a different partner. Trying to figure out how her mind was working always gave me a headache.

Dropping my head back against the sofa, I let my eyes drift closed. "I have work after school, Angela."

"But not before." Her fingers tightened on my arm as she went on. "And you can come by after work sometimes, too."

"Or you could just do the project and say it's from both of us." If all she wanted was to help me, then she'd do that, wouldn't she?

"What?" she asked softly. I opened one eye to look at her, finding her head bowed. "Then we wouldn't be doing it together, Jordan."

"It's not like you haven't done my homework for me before." Rolling my head toward hers, I brought my hand up to cup her chin, forcing her to look at me. Staring straight into her eyes, I said, "Unless there's another reason why you want to spend time with me."

She continued to stare at me silently, worrying her lip between her teeth, for a full minute. I could see the wheels turning behind her eyes as she worked out a response in her head. When she finally did speak, it wasn't what I wanted to hear. "I feel bad that Brian stopped tutoring you because of me. I want to make it up to you. I know we can get a good grade together if we work hard."

Her words, spoken urgently and full of feeling, were like a bucket of ice water thrown on me. I let go of her face and shifted away from her, putting some distance between us. Why was she like this? Why was she constantly giving me mixed signals all the time. What the fuck did she want? To BE with me, or to ease her conscience?

"I told you I don't need your help." Closing my notebook, I leaned forward and started gathering my things. I had everything stacked neatly in my lap, about to rise to my feet, when she put her hand on top of the pile to stop me.

"Stop doing that!" she exclaimed, pushing me back down with her other hand on my chest.

When our gazes collided, I could see the annoyance written on her face. "Doing what?"

"That! Making it seem like I'm insulting you or something." She moved closer to me, so close that I could feel her breath on my face. "I'm not, you know."

Gritting my teeth together, I tore my gaze from hers to stare at the wall. Until she told me exactly what she wanted, there was nothing for me to say. Why was this so hard?

She sighed loudly, removing her hand from the top of my books, but not from the center of my chest. I jumped, startled, when her fingers closed around my jaw. She turned my gaze back to hers, holding me captive.

Pushing her face close to mine, she ground out, "Jordan, I miss you. I want my friend back."

Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes. In a voice I didn't even recognize as my own, I rasped, "Angela, I can't just be your friend. I can't be around you and not want..." Searching for the right words, I went over what I really wanted, but none of it seemed appropriate to say. Finally, I just said, "You know, MORE."

Softly, she whispered, "I'm not ready for more, Jordan. Not yet."

Not yet? Meaning maybe one day she will be? Opening my eyes, I slowly focused on her face, inches from mine. God, I wanted so badly to kiss her. Just to close the distance and press my lips to hers.

Somehow, showing way more restraint than I knew I had, I took her by the shoulders and set her away from me. Both of her hands fell to rest in her lap. A look of pure rejection covered her face.

I stood, tucking my books under one arm and reached my hand out to her. She looked at it timidly. "Come on," I said. "Walk me to the door."

She set her books aside, putting her hand inside mine and let me pull her up. Holding tightly to my hand, she walked me to the door. When she reached for the doorknob, I leaned against the door preventing her from opening it. Letting go of her hand, I cupped her cheek.

Brushing my thumb over her jaw, I told her, "I won't push you, Ang. But I won't pretend, either."

"Be patient with me, Jordan." She leaned into my touch, closing her eyes.

"Okay." Leaning over her, I whispered, "I'll try," before I did what I'd been wanting to do since the last time I'd done it. I settled my lips over hers, swallowing her sigh. Her lips clung to mine when I pulled away. "Later," I whispered close to her ear.

Pulling the door open, I forced myself to cross the porch, to descend the steps and follow the path to my car parked at the curb. I didn't dare look back. I knew if I did, I would have turned around and went right back to her. When I was safely behind the wheel with the ignition running, I looked up to see her standing in the doorway with her fingers pressed to her lips.

With hope flooding through me, I put the car into gear and pulled away.


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys continue to amaze me... And to answer the anon, Yes, the whole story will be in Jordan's POV. If you've read any of my other fics, you'd know how much I adore Jordan Catalano. :)**

"I gotta grab something. Wait in the car," I addressed Shane, getting out and slamming the door behind me.

I'd forgotten my book that morning, and I was supposed to go by Angela's after rehearsal. We were making pretty good progress. On the project and on this friend thing. And any excuse I could use to see her was a good one.

I let myself into the kitchen door to find my mom and Joe having a heated discussion. As usual, Joe was bitching about something I'd done, or in this case, something I didn't do. He was such an asshole.

"Em, he doesn't do a thing around here," Joe exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "You let him do whatever the hell he wants, with nothing in return."

When I stepped inside the door, shutting it behind me, they both looked my way. Joe scowled. Ma shook her head as if to tell me to hold my tongue. I didn't.

"What now, Joe? Did I forget to take the trash out? Did I leave my glass in the sink? What?" Throwing my hands up, just like he'd done, I asked, "What the fuck's your problem with me, dude? I don't bother you. You always seem to be on my case, though."

Stepping around Ma, he stood in front of me. "You live in my house. You eat my food. And you don't do anything else. You're a disrespectful little shit who thinks he can do whatever he wants. Either you're going to start helping out more around here, or you can start paying rent."

I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up. "Man, you're crazy." I moved around him with every intention of going to my room without letting him provoke me, but he wouldn't let it go.

"Dont walk away from me, boy." His hand latched onto my arm as he tried to stop me from leaving.

Visions of other times, other arguments, flashed through my head. Joe, who had always resented me, Ma's first kid by another man, had never been aloud to spank me. So he'd tried to intimidate me instead. I worked at one time. Not anymore.

I snatched free and spun on him. "Don't touch me, Joe," I ground out, glaring at him. "Keep your hands off of me."

"Maybe if your mom let me spank you like I wanted to, you'd have learned to respect me." Joe crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. He sneered, "But not her precious Jordan."

I knew why Ma had never allowed him to spank me. It was the same reason she'd left my dad. She said no man was going to lay his hands on me in anger ever again. So what if that made me a little spoiled?

Shaking my head at him, I said, "I gotta go." I took to steps, then turned to look at him. "Just so you know, this is my fucking house and I'll never pay you a dime to live here." Pushing my hair out of my face, I reminded him, "And you aren't my dad."

"No, but I'm married to your mother. She can make you do what I say." He looked toward Ma, who was staring at the floor. "Tell him, Em."

She looked up at me pleadingly, silently begging me to leave it alone. The look in her eyes had me backing down. I took a step closer to her and dropped a kiss onto her cheek.

"Don't wait up, Ma. I got rehearsal, then I'm going to work on my school project." Glancing at Joe, I said, "I'll pick up dinner. I wouldn't want you to waste Joe's food on me."

Leaving them staring at each other, I went to tell Joey bye before heading to my room for my book.  
I walked back through the kitchen to find Ma standing alone at the sink and Joe nowhere in sight. I headed for the door, not really feeling the need to say anything else.

"I love you, Jay," I heard as the door clicked shut behind me.

Shane, taking one look at my face, reached over and turned the radio up as I backed out of the driveway. That was the thing I liked most about Shane. He KNEW me. He knew when to push and he knew when to leave it alone.

Rehearsal didn't go so well. Mostly because I was pissed and I couldn't let it go. Who the hell did Joe think he is? Pay him? He's fucking nuts.

After three failed attempts at the same song, I ended up making excuses and packing everything away. It didn't seem to phase any of the other guys. Shane nodded to me as I grabbed my jacket and made my way to the door.

I was sitting behind the wheel when I remembered that I was supposed to go by Angela's to work on that damn project. That was the last thing I wanted to do, but as I started the car and pulled into traffic, I found myself heading toward her house.

I couldn't not show up. The last time I told her I'd come by and I didn't, things didn't turn out so well. She was angry at me for a while after that. I had to go, even if I didn't want to because I couldn't stand the thought of her being mad at me for any reason.

I pulled up out front and killed the engine, just sitting in the car for a few minutes. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I was a little early, but I'm sure Angela wouldn't mind. Grabbing my book from the seat, I got out and walked slowly to the door.

I lifted my hand to knock, but never got the chance. Angela pulled the door open before my fingers connected with the glass. She seemed a little surprised that I was there before I told her I would be.

"Hey, I thought you weren't coming over til later." She stepped aside to let me enter. "Mom had to pick Danielle up from band practice, so I'm making dinner. Want to hang out with me while I cook? You can even stay for dinner if you want."

Wordless, I followed her into the kitchen. I shrugged out of my jacket and hung it over the back of a kitchen chair. Leaning against the island, I watched as she went to the oven to peek inside. I followed her every move. She was really cute running around the kitchen barefoot. And her skirt rode up nicely when she bent over.

She glanced up to find me watching her and she blushed prettily. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm not," I denied, shifting from one foot to the other and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Yes, you are." She padded over in her stockinged feet to stand in front of me. " You're always staring at me, Jordan."

I clenched my fists tightly under my arms to keep from reaching for her. "I can't help it," I muttered, looking at the floor.

Her giggle had me lifting my head to look at her. She tucked her hair back like she always did and smiled at me. Thankfully, she decided to let it go. Her change of subject had me fidgeting.

Laying her hand on my arm, she asked, "Why did you decide to come early?"

"Practice sucked," was my only response.

"Did something happen? Did you have another argument with the guys?" Her small hand traveled back and forth over my forearm comfortingly. "I thought you guys were all getting along without Tino."

For the first time ever, I found myself wanting to open up to her. I wanted to tell her the truth. To tell her about my mom and step dad. I wanted to tell her about my little brother, the most important person in my life. I wanted to let her in. THAT scared me.

So instead of divulging my family secrets, I reached for her, pulling her into my arms. She looked up at me in surprise. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

For some reason, I felt the need to warn her, maybe so she could stop me if she wanted. "I'm going to kiss you," I whispered, even as my mouth descended toward hers.

Her breathless "okay" was lost as I captured her lips with mine.


	7. Chapter 7

**A short chapter is better than nothing, right? Hope you enjoy...**

The sound of the front door opening, followed by the sounds of Patty Chase arguing with her youngest daughter had me releasing her oldest daughter from the circle of my arms. Angela opened her eyes and looked at me dazedly, not understanding why I broke our kiss so abruptly. I swiped my thumb over her kiss swollen lips, then nudged her toward the stove just as her mom entered the room with Danielle in tow.

Angela shot a grateful look over her shoulder and reached for the spoon on the counter, busying herself with the pot simmering on the front burner of the stove. Patty, dropping a few grocery bags onto the counter, smiled at me warmly. Danielle walked past like she didn't even see me.

"Hey, Jordan," Patty greeted me as she shrugged out of her jacket. She didn't even act surprised to see me standing in her kitchen. "Are you staying for dinner? There's plenty."

"I dunno," I said, looking at my boots.

It was one thing for her to make me a sandwich when it was just me and her. But both the girls were home, too. And what about Mr. Chase? I wasn't sure I was up for a family dinner. Especially when the family was that of the girl... Well, it wasn't my family.

"Come on, Jordan," Angela urged, walking back over to lie her hand on my arm. She seemed to always be touching me. Not that I minded, though. "I made meatloaf and mashed potatoes. You have to stay and try it, you know, to tell me how it tastes. Then we can work on The Raven."

When I continued to hesitate, Patty said, "If you're worried about Graham, don't be. He hasn't eaten dinner here in months." I could sense a hint of bitterness beneath her words, as I remembered that Angela's dad was supposed to have opened a restaurant downtown. Angela and I shared an amused glance when she turned her back and muttered, "It'll be nice to have a man around the house again. Even for a little while."

Angela decided to help sway me by stepping closer. She tilted her her to the side and smiled at me. Her softly spoken, "Please, Jordan," had me caving.

I stared down into her upturned face, wanting nothing more than to taste her lips again, and I almost forgot to breathe. She was staring at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. I couldn't let her down, not if it meant removing that look from her eyes; the look I'd seen there so many times before. Before I hurt her.

"Okay," I mumbled, shifting my gaze from Angela to Patty to find her staring at us with a secret smile of her own.

"Great," Angela said, next to my ear just before I felt her soft lips brush against my jaw. "It's ready. All we need to do is set the table."

The second she moved away, I missed her warmth. The feel of her pressed against me, however innocently. It was amazing, this affect she had on me. Without even trying to she brought my body to life and turned my brain to mush.

She sat beside me at the table, driving me crazy the whole time. Her arm brushed against mine as she lifted her glass. Her leg bumped mine under the table as she turned to address me. She kept touching me as she talked, drawing me into the conversation with her and her mom. And I was enjoying every minute of it.

I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to them, even Danielle when she decided to join in. Being with them, all of them, seemed natural. I didn't feel out of place. I didn't feel like a bumbling idiot searching for the right words, they just came to me. It was nice.

After dinner, I helped Danielle to clear the table, despite Patty's insistence that she could do it. She'd said that since Angela had cooked, Danielle was supposed to clean the kitchen. Well, I'd enjoyed the same dinner, so I felt like I should help out in some way. Halfway through loading the dishwasher, I looked up to find Angela and Patty standing together in the doorway watching me, both smiling at me beautifully. It made it all worth it. As soon as the last dish was inside and Danielle had put in the soap, Angela was pulling me from the kitchen.

"Mom, we're going up to my room to work!" she yelled toward the den as we reached the foot of the stairs.

Her words had my steps slowing. I didn't want to be alone with her in her room, like where she slept at night. I didn't want to be anywhere near her bed. Well, that wasn't completely true, but until she was on the same page as me, then I didn't think it was such a good idea.

I found myself saying, "Ang, let's work in the dining room or something."

Patty yelled, "Leave the door open, Angela," at the same time.

She turned to me and grinned. "See, it's okay." She dragged me up the stairs behind her and pulled me down the hall to her bedroom. When I stopped in her doorway, she chuckled, "Jordan, it's okay."

She let go of my hand and went over to the bed, the unmade bed, and plopped down onto the side. I ignored the picture she made, leaning back on her hands, and took a moment to survey her bedroom. Her very messy bedroom with clothes strewn on the floor in front of the closet and books and cds scattered about on the dresser and desk. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but somehow it fit.

"Ang, your room is a mess," I told her, stepping over the boots dropped carelessly in the door way.

"It's not that bad, Jordan," she said, blushing.

She's so pretty when she blushes like that, I thought, making my way to the window seat. Clearing some of the magazines away, I sat down, as far away from her as I could. Distance was a good thing.

"Yeah, it is." Staring at her across the room, I brought my thumb to my mouth and started chewing on the side of it. A nervous habit I picked up along the way. "It's okay, though. It's a nice room."

"It's alright." Reaching toward her nightstand, she plucked her copy of The Raven from the top and held it up to me. "You ready?"

That's when I remembered that I'd left my copy downstairs on the island. "Shit," I muttered, getting to my feet. "I left my book downstairs. I'll be right back."

"No, we can both use mine." She pulled her knee up onto the mattress and patted the bed beside her. "Sit here and we'll share."

I looked at her crazily, not really believing what she was suggesting. Clearing my throat, I said, "Angela, that's not really a good idea."

"Jordan," she chided, "the door is open. Nothing will happen. Besides, I trust you."

"I don't know, Ang." She didn't say anything else. She just sat there looking at me with those big green eyes, waiting for me to give in. After a good minute, I sighed, "Fine. But don't blame me if I can't concentrate."

She ducked her head to hide her knowing smile. As I dropped down beside her on the opposite side of the bed, I had the feeling that she knew exactly what she was doing. And she was enjoying every minute of it.

I took a deep breath and said, "Okay, let's get this over with."


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay...I got involved in another project. Thanks for all the reviews. You guys are amazing...**

Looking up at her in surprise, my pencil stopped halfway through writing a sentence. "Huh?" I asked stupidly, having clearly heard what she said.

"I asked if you were going to the Sadie Hawkins dance." Avoiding my eyes, she looked down at her hands. Her nervousness showed in the way she twisted them in the hem of her skirt. "You know, next week?"

I slid higher up on the bed, her bed, and crossed my legs Indian style, tucking my sock-clad feet beneath them. Lying the notebook and pencil onto the pillow beside me, I studied her bent head. She shifted, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. She always seemed to be doing that around me. Because I made her nervous?

We were still sitting in her bedroom working through our English assignment. After I'd gotten over the idea that I was actually in her bedroom, like on her bed with her, we got a lot accomplished. She read the parts of the book out loud and I took notes. We had been just about finished for the night when her question popped out of the blue.

"Sadie what?" Another dance? Was I going? Probably not.

Why would I go to another boring school dance? The last one sucked. Well, everything but getting to see her looking pretty in that red dress had sucked. That had actually been nice.

"Sadie Hawkins. It's where the girls are supposed to ask the guys to go to the dance with them." Her gaze moved up to mine hesitantly. "So, has anyone asked you? You know, to go with them to the dance?"

No, no one had asked me. Probably because all the girls I was used to would rather be at one of Tino's impromptu parties than a stupid school dance. But she wasn't one of the girls I was used to. She was different. And she was the reason I'd went to the last dance, but I was a dumbass then.

See, back then I was afraid to admit that I liked her. I was scared to let my friends know that I liked her. I can't even explain why, but that's how it was. Now I really don't give a damn who knows how I feel.

Lowering my chin to my chest, I let my hair blanket my face, hiding it from her view. "Nope." I said, biting back a smile. "No one's asked."

"No one?" She sounded surprised.

Bringing my head up slowly, I rolled my eyes up to hers. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason." Her fingers moved up to tuck the hair that was already behind her ear again.

Reaching out, I locked my fingers around her wrist before she could lower her hand back to her lap. "No reason?" I asked softly, tugging her closer to me. "You must have had a reason for asking."

Her hand, fingers open, came to rest against my chest. I could feel the heated imprint through my shirt. I looked down at her hand, fighting the urge to pull her into my arms. For more than one reason, that was a very bad idea.

Her eyes locked on my lips, only inches from hers. Her answer came out breathlessly. "I was, uh, wondering if... Well, you know, if you would..." She licked her own lips as she trailed off.

Tugging her just a little closer, I asked, "If I would what, Red?"

A sigh whispered past her lips a second before she leaned in and pressed her mouth to mine. I sat still as she kissed me, holding her hand against my chest. I was very much aware of where we were and what would happen if I got lost in her the way I wanted to. It was a safe bet that I'd never be allowed in this room again if we got caught. For a brief instant, I let my lips cling to hers before I pulled back.

When her eyes opened, she seemed a little dazed. Her breathing was a little shallow. I couldn't help but grin knowing I could do that to her without even trying.

"If I would what?," I repeated, purposefully keeping my voice low.

She dropped her gaze down to where her fingers were splayed against my shirt. "If you would go to the dance with me?"

I didn't want to go to the dance. I really didn't. But if it meant I'd get to spend the evening in her company, then I just might let her persuade me to.

Instead of answering her, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers gently. I brought my free hand up to cup her cheek, brushing my thumb against the corner of her mouth. It took everything in me not to slip my tongue between her soft lips as they parted, granting me access.

I kept the kiss light and innocent; exactly the opposite of what I was feeling. Her fingers curled into the fabric of my shirt. Her soft moan reached my ears just before the startled gasp from the doorway did.

I brought my head around to find Brain standing in the hallway staring at us with his mouth hanging open. I couldn't resist. I brushed my lips against hers one last time before I clued her in to the fact that we had an audience. Whispering her name, I watched as her lashes fluttered before they came all the way up. With my chin, I motioned toward the flustered boy standing in the doorway.

"What are doing?" he asked, when he could find her voice. His face flushed red as he watched Angela separate herself from me. "You shouldn't be in here alone. And you shouldn't be on the bed together like that, Chase."

"God, Krakow! Were you spying on us?" She demanded, sliding to the edge of the bed and dropping her feet to the floor. Glaring at him angrily, she said, "We were studying, if it's any of your business."

"Your door was wide open. And it didn't look like you were studying. It looked like you were making out." His eyes swung back and forth between us before fixating on the wall over the desk. "I thought you said you weren't with Jordan Catalano, Angela. It sure looks like you're _with_ him to me."

If that's what he called making out, then it was no wonder he didn't have a girlfriend. And what did it matter to him if she was with me or not? Unless she was with him, which she wasn't.

Unfolding my legs, I pushed them over the side of the bed. Reaching for my boots, I slid my feet into them and turned to watch Angela tugging her skirt over her thighs as she searched for the right words to say to this kid. Deciding to make it easy on her, and a little hard on Brain, I walked around to where she was standing.

Pushing my fingers into her hair, I tilted her face up to mine. I held her gaze as I dipped my head to brush a kiss across her already swollen lips. "Yes, I'll go to the dance with you," I said when I pulled away, letting my fingers trail over her neck as they fell away.

Her face broke in a beautiful smile as my words registered, forgetting all about the boy who we both knew was madly in love with her, still standing in the doorway watching us.

Casting a glance at Brain, I said, "I gotta go. I'll pick you up in the morning."

I moved to the door, brushing past Brain on my way into the hallway. As I descended the stairs, I heard him start in on her about me being alone with her and how it looked. She didn't waste any time telling him to shut up and get out of her house, ignoring him as he yelled something about his calculator that she never returned.

The sounds of the two of them arguing reached the kitchen where I found Patty as I grabbed my jacket from the back of the chair. Seeing her amused smirk had the corner of my lips lifting. Even though she seemed to be okay with what she had heard, for some reason I felt the need to explain.

I slipped my arms into the sleeves, then held my hands up in front of me. "She kissed me, I swear. And we weren't doing anything. We were sitting on the bed."

"It's okay, Jordan." She turned away from wiping the counter and smiled deviously. "Maybe I shouldn't have sent Brian upstairs. Or maybe I should have warned you guys."

"What?" I mumbled, confused by her response.

She just laughed and said, "Or maybe I want Angela to find out what it's like to be with a Tony Poole before she settles," confusing me even more.

"Weird," I mumbled, shaking my head at her. I turned, heading back toward the front of the house.

Angela, stomping down the stairs with a red-faced Brain holding his calculator in his hand following on her heels, called out to me. She stopped at the base of the stairs right next to my elbow. Throwing an angry scowl at him over her shoulder, her face softened as she looked back at me. "Hey, so this dance? Is it like a date or something?"

I pretended to debate it in my head before I smiled down at her. "Yeah, I guess. If that's what you want."

"I do." Standing on her toes, she kissed my cheek. "Thank you."

I wasn't sure exactly why she was thanking me. She really didn't need to, because I was getting what I wanted out of this, too. It was nice having her smile me this way again, though. Not to mention that _the other guy_ got to witness the whole thing.

"I'll see ya', Red," I spoke low near her ear. Lifting my head, I nodded to her neighbor. "Later... Brain."

His disgruntled huff brought a smile to my lips as he followed me out the door. It wasn't until I climbed behind the wheel of my car that I remembered I'd left my book behind. It was okay, though, because I could always get it in the morning.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**Sorry folks...it took me a while to get back to these guys. A lot of exciting changes have been happening in my life and I've been focusing on that. Thanks for the reviews. You all are the best! **

Leaning against the beam beneath the bleachers, I took one last drag from my smoke and tossed it to the ground. I ground it out with the toe of my boot and dropped my head back to rest against the cold steel, closing my eyes. My head hurt so bad from lack of sleep and too many beers after practice the night before. Me not talking was nothing new, so it didn't bother Shane or Tino as they continued to talk around me.

Wishing I was anywhere but school at the moment, I sighed loudly and stuck my hands into coat my pockets. The day was only half over. I had a test next and my stupid presentation with Angela in Katimski's. Between that and the threat that Ma would beat my ass, there was no way I could skip out.

Speaking of Angela, we finished our project earlier than expected yesterday after school. Then we ended up having a last minute cram session that had nothing to do with homework or English. It was more like our lips were crammed together while we were wrapped around each other in the front seat of my car.

I couldn't stop the smile that stretched across my face as I recalled, in vivid detail, how she pressed herself against my chest, twining her arms around my neck as she kissed me. The way her body moved against mine as she got lost in the moment. The soft sighs and small whimpers that escaped every now and then.

It was getting harder and harder to hold back with her, but it was also nice that she was the one making the first moves. That meant that she wanted me, too. It wasn't one-sided.

It had been pure torture, having to bring a halt to the smooch fest we were having parked in front of her house, but I had to leave for practice and her dad came home early. She'd protested when I sat her away from me gently. Until I pointed out that Mr. Chase was pulling into the driveway. She'd looked so damn cute, all flustered, from both the embarrassment and from my kisses.

After I'd kissed her one last time, I'd watched her walk up the path before I pulled away. By the time I stopped off at home, listened to Joe's bitching and Joey's crying for me to stay home, I finally got to the loft around 8. The beer had already been flowing by then. We still got some practice in, though. Shane, Joey the dumbass and Bobby had all played halfway decent, too.

"Catalano," Shane called, nudging my arm.

My eyes came open, slowly focusing. It took me a minute to realize Tino wasn't there anymore. I squinted at him in confusion. "What?"

"Red," is all he said, motioning with his chin. He tossed his cigarette butt to the dirt in front of him. "See ya'," he muttered, heading off in the other direction.

I could smell her scent before I ever turned my gaze on her. One day I'd have to ask her exactly what it was she used to make herself smell so good. I rolled my head in her direction, watching her take the last few steps to my side.

She smiled at me sweetly. "Hey, Jordan," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Hey," I said, removing one hand from my pocket to take hold of her jacket sleeve.

With a gentle tug, I had her leaning against my chest, holding her face close to mine as she waited for my kiss. I brushed my lips over hers once, then again. Her hands came to rest at my waist. I slid my arm around her back and held her to me.

"What're you doing out here?" I asked, even though I knew she had come looking for me. I tightened my arm around her, with the pretense of keeping her warm as an excuse. "It's cold."

"A little," she said, a touch breathlessly. She continued to stare up at me. It was hard to read the expression on her face.

"What's up?" I pulled my other hand loose and slid it beneath her jacket to caress her side through her sweater.

"Well, I just heard that Katimski had to leave or something. I guess that means we won't be giving our presentation today." Her eyes drifted down to my lips. She stepped even closer to me. "Now we, like, have this substitute or whatever. It'll probably be like study hall, where we have to work quietly by ourselves."

"Yeah? That sucks." It didn't really. She seemed to think it did. I don't mind working by myself. I guess it bothered her enough to come find me to tell me. My day had just gotten a little bit better, too. Now all I had to do was stay for next and take my test.

"I heard from Ricky," she went on, slipping her hands up my sides under my coat to rest against my ribs, "you know, he's staying with Mr. Katimski or whatever, that he may not be back for a few days. Maybe not until next week. So we may not get to give our presentation at all."

That would be okay, too. I certainly wasn't looking forward to standing in front of the class and speaking about this book. Maybe we'd get lucky and only have to turn in the written part of the assignment. It was already done.

"Now the rest of my day is going to suck." She shifted from one foot to the other, effectively pressing her body into mine. "I was looking forward to us being able to sit together in English. Now all I have to look forward to is Geometry. I hate Geometry. And Ms. Lerner will probably want me to go to Geometry review this afternoon, too."

Somehow, I missed the fact that her face was now inches from mine. I could feel her warm breath whisper across my jaw as she exhaled. It was making it increasingly hard to think coherent thoughts that didn't involve me and her and those luscious lips.

"Bummer," I mumbled, dipping my head to claim those lips because I couldn't have her that close to me and not give in to temptation.

When I pulled my head back to look at her, she still had her eyes closed. Her tongue darted out from between her lips to swipe across first the top one, then the bottom one. She took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. When her eyes came open, they looked a little glazed.

"So..." she said, moving her gaze back up to mine. "I wish there was a way I could, like, not have to go to the rest of my classes today. Because I'm sure that nothing good is going to happen anyway." Her fingers toyed with the hem of my t shirt. "It's not like I would miss anything. And there has got to be something way more fun that I could be doing."

Okay. I've been accused of being slow sometimes, but even I got what she was saying. The fact that she couldn't just come out and ask me to ditch with her, how she had to talk around it and somehow make it my idea, I found completely adorable.

If it had been Cynthia or Christy, or Mandy, Robin, Sheila, or a whole other list of girls, they would have just come out and said, "Hey, Catalano, lets get out of here." Or maybe, "Meet me in the boiler room during seventh." But not Angela.

She has yet to realize that I'd do just about anything to be alone with her. She didn't have to talk me into it, or persuade me. All she has to do is ask. Except she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"You wanna ditch?" I asked, like I didn't have a clue what she was doing. "How come?"

"Well, you know..." Her eyes widened as she waited for it to sink in to me. "I kinda thought that, maybe, you'd want to ditch _with_ me."

I bit back my smile of amusement as I pretended to be surprised. "You want me to ditch with you?"

"Well, yeah." She started chewing on her bottom lip when she realized that I wasn't going to make it easy on her. "You want to?"

Ditch school to spend the afternoon with her? Alone? Where we would more than likely share quite a few steamy kisses. And maybe more, if the way she was trying to persuade me was any indication.

God, did I want to. There was nothing I wanted more than that. But I couldn't. Not yet. I still had to take my test next period. THEN, I could leave. Then there would be nothing to stop me.

"I can't, Ang," I said, watching her face fall and kicking myself for it.

"You can't?" She stood up, putting some space between us then. "But I thought..." She dropped her chin down to her chest, hiding the hurt in her eyes, and tried to move away. "Nevermind."

My arms tightened around her, holding her against me. "Angela," I said softly, waiting for her to look up at me. Reluctantly, she did. "I didn't say I didn't want to. I said I can't. Not right now, anyway."

Her forehead creased into a confused frown. "Not right now?"

"I've got a test next. Then we can go somewhere." Lowering my voice, I moved my mouth closer to hers. "And be alone. If that's what you want."

Her lashes fluttered. Another soft sigh escaped her lips before she raised onto her toes and kissed me. When she moved away, she was smiling.

"It is," she said, stepping back. "If that's what you want."

In answer, the corner of my mouth lifted into a crooked grin. "Depends."

"On what?" she asked, turning back toward the building.

I couldn't help but tease her. "On what you plan to do with me when you get me alone."

"Jordan!" she exclaimed, bringing her hand up to cover the blush stealing across her face.

Taking her by the hand, I pulled her along behind me as the first bell rang. "Come on. Let's get this over with so I can find out exactly why you talked me into cutting school with you."

As we walked toward the building, hand in hand, I realized that my head was no longer hurting. I wasn't dreading the test that was coming. All my worries were forgotten. All that mattered was the girl whose hand was holding onto mine tightly and the promise of what was to come as soon as the next period was over.


	10. Chapter 10

**I was feeling inspired... Thanks for the reviews. :)**

Feeling pretty good about myself, I picked up the test that was lying on the desk in front of me. The great big 81 scrawled across the top in bright red made me proud. I'd worked really hard studying for this test, so a B was as good as an A for me.

I folded all three sheets and tucked them into the inside pocket of my jacket. Glancing at the clock, I began to gather my things. The bell would be ringing any second and I had only one goal in mind.

I was going to find Angela Chase and get her the hell out of here before she changed her mind.

I don't even know how I managed to make it through the whole period, test and all, without being consumed with thoughts of her. Her smiling at me. Her touching me. Her pressing her lips to mine.

Somehow I'd did it, though. Small miracle that it was. And now she's all I can think about again.

As the bell sounded above my head, I was already rising from my seat. I held my books in my hand and patiently waited as the people in front of me moved out the door. Once I reached the hallway, I went straight for my locker.

I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to hang out in the hall and pretend to pay attention to the guys as they spewed whatever bullshit to try to impress each other. I just want to get my...

"Catalano!" I heard behind me, groaning aloud as I recognized the voice. I didn't even slow. "Hey, Catalano, wait up."

I made it to my locker, spinning the combination, before she stopped at my side. "What do you want, Graff?"

"Um, yeah." She fidgeted nervously, twisting the small braid hanging from her temple around her finger. "So, like, are you and Angeleeka..." She trailed off, looking toward the floor.

"Are we what?" I snapped, not believing that she was the one out of everyone who was holding me up.

Her. Part of the reason me and Angela weren't together. Or are we together? Maybe we are.

She popped her gum and hesitated, looking past me toward the other end of the hall where Angela's locker is. "Are you two a couple or what?"

"A couple?" I asked, frowning. Not because I didn't like the idea, but because I never looked at it that way.

I pulled my locker open and stashed my books inside before I slammed it shut. Returning my attention to her, I waited for her to continue. She wouldn't even look at me.

"Yeah, like together. A couple. Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" She glanced past my shoulder again, her eyes widening a little. She angled her body away from mine and took a step back. "Look, I was just gonna say that if you aren't, you shouldn't let her think you are. That's all."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, shifting impatiently.

"Because I heard that you're taking her to the dance. I don't want you to hurt her again."

"Hey, I didn't do that alone, Graff," I protested.

This time when she leaned around me to look down the hall, I turned around to see what she was looking at. Angela, who seemed to be very angry, was storming toward us. Apparently, she didn't like seeing Graff standing next to me.

"Shit," I mumbled, sure that she was going to be pissed off at me and there probably wasn't going to be a chance in hell of us leaving together now. "Hey, Ang."

Angela marched right up to us, with no acknowledgment that she heard me, and stepped between me and Graff. She leaned against my locker with her back toward me as she faced the other girl. I slipped my hand under her arm to rest against her side, squeezing gently.

"What do you want, Rayanne?" she asked with venom dripping from every word.

"Nothing, Angela. I just asked Catalano a question." She was trying to play it cool, but I could tell how nervous she was. She tried to laugh, but it came out awkward. "He didn't answer me."

"That's because he wants you to leave him alone," Angela answered for me. She was right.

"I will. Don't worry." Graff, looking a little defeated, turned away and started back the way she'd came.

I couldn't help but feeling a little sorry for her. I mean, she and I both screwed up. We, like, did it together. Both of us hurt Angela at the same time, but Angela seems to have forgiven me and not her.

Did she even know how many times Graff had set my ass straight when it came to her? Graff is the one who always stood up for her. Here she was doing it again when Angela still wouldn't even speak to her without getting mad.

"Hey, Graff," I yelled, tightening my grip on Angela's side as she tensed. Graff stopped and turned back to face us a few feet away. "Yes."

"Yes, what, Catalano?" she asked distractedly, frowning.

"We are."

It took a second for what I said to sink in. When it did, the corner of her mouth lifted ever so slightly. "Good to know."

She spun around, braids flying, and sprinted toward Vasquez and Cherski who were standing next to Angela's locker talking. Angela leaned back against my chest. She exhaled loudly.

"Yes, you are, what?" she asked softly, without turning around.

"We. Me and you." I removed my hand from her waist, only to take her hand and tug her in the direction of the door. She went with me willingly. That was a good sign, right? "Us."

"What about us?" she asked, as we pushed through the door.

I kept walking, pulling her in the direction of the parking lot. This wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with her out in the open. It wasn't something I really even wanted to discuss, but I didn't want her to think I was hiding anything from her. Especially not something to do with Rayanne Graff.

"What about us, Jordan?" she asked again. I could already tell her mind was working, spinning her on take on things.

I stopped beside the driver's door, pulling out my keys to unlock it. "Get in," I said, after I opened the door for her.

Her eyes traveled over my face like she would find all her answers there. When I nudged her, she sighed loudly and turned away, slipping her backpack from her shoulders and tossing it over the seat. She climbed in and moved all the way over to lean against the passenger side door.

Silently, I slid behind the wheel and started the car. I knew she wasn't just going to let it go. She waited until we were out of the parking lot before she started again.

"Are you going to tell me what you and Rayanne Graff were talking about?" she asked, turning in her seat to look at me.

"Yeah." I was going to tell her. Once I stopped the car and I could look at her when I said it.

"So tell me," she prompted, looking down at her lap.

"Where are we going?" I asked instead.

"Jordan!"

"To your house?" I turned onto a side street, waiting for her to answer me.

She growled in frustration. "Why are you like this? God!" She faced forward again, her movements jerky and quick. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Not my house. My dad is home."

"So where?" Maybe we should have just stayed at school.

She was good and mad at me now. I could tell by the way she was chewing on the inside of her cheek. She wouldn't look at me. "I don't care."

"Do you wanna go back to school?"

"I want you to talk to me!" She spun back around to face me, drawing her leg up onto the seat, waving her hands angrily as she talked. "Why won't you just tell me? Unless it's bad and you don't want me to know."

"No! It's not bad." Rolling my eyes, I said, "I'll tell you. Just tell me where we're going."

"Take me somewhere," she grumbled. "It doesn't matter."

We were passing the street I live on at that moment. That's when I decided where we were going. She was mad at me and I'm sure she didn't want to be alone with me anyway.

I went over one street and circled back around. When I pulled into my driveway, parking behind my mom, she looked at me strangely. I shut off the ignition and rested my hands on the steering wheel.

"Jordan, we're at your house," she said, as if I didn't know.

"I know." Dropping my head back against the headrest, I closed my eyes. "You didn't tell me where to go."

"Oh." I heard the vinyl creaking beneath her as she shifted in her seat. "Are you going to tell me now?"

Without opening my eyes, I said, "She asked if we were together. Like if you were my girlfriend."

Her gasp drew my head around to look at her. "You said yes," she whispered softly as realization set in.


	11. Chapter 11

**Short, but pivotal...**

I could see the wheels turning in her head as she tried to break apart the confession I'd just made, not directly to her, but to someone else about her, about us. To the girl I cheated on her with. Well, I guess it wasn't really cheating, but it hurt her all the same...

Now I'd finally put a label on it, this whatever it was we had going. I admitted she was my girlfriend. What else would you call it?

The longer we sat there with her staring across the car at me and her mind going a million miles a minute, the look of wonder, of pure happiness, began to fade. She had been so mad at me minutes ago. Then she wasn't. Now it looked like she was heading that way again. Fast.

"Wait? Why were you talking to Rayanne Graff about me and why would you tell her, when you haven't even told ME, that I'm you're girlfriend?" Her face reddened and she huffed indignantly. "I mean, why would it even matter to her if we were together? Unless she didn't want us to be together?"

"I dunno," I muttered, bringing my thumb to my mouth, chewing on it nervously.

Why was I nervous? I hadn't done anything wrong. And why was she mad again? Because I wasn't even trying to talk to Graff. She walked up to me, no the other way around.

"You said you didn't even like her. But you were standing with her at your locker." She ran her hand over her face and let out a strangled laugh. "I bet you weren't even talking to her about us. That's just what you told me so I wouldn't get mad at you. And stupid me, here I am thinking that..."

As she rambled on and on about how she thought I wanted to be with her and how she thought I'd changed, I started blocking her out. I had just told her that she was my girlfriend. For me, that was huge. Me admitting that I wanted to be with her and only her was huge. I've never really had a girlfriend before.

Wasn't that enough for her? I was trying here and she was still yelling at me. None of it made sense.

She said something about how she was stupid for letting her feelings get in the way. She should have just stayed away from me instead of falling for me all over again. When would she ever learn? She should have just let me go.

I couldn't listen to her tell me that being with me was a mistake, so I did what I always did when she wouldn't shut up; I leaned across the seat and kissed her.

That effectively stopped the flow of words from her mouth. Her hands came up to twist in the fabric of my t shirt. She held on to me when I started pulling away. Her lips clung to mine. When her eyes came open, there was a definite haze to them.

Keeping my face close to hers, I said, "Ang, Graff is not a problem."

"But, Jordan, she..."

I covered her mouth again, drawing her bottom lip between my teeth and biting gently. She sighed into my mouth and relaxed against me. Maybe I didn't know that words to say to her, but I had no problem speaking to her this way. This was easy.

This time when I pulled back, I wrapped my fingers around hers. "Come on," I said, reaching behind me for the door handle.

She let me pull her from the car before she started to protest. "Jordan, your mom is home, isn't she?"

Holding her hand firmly in mine, I walked up the driveway. She had no choice but to follow. Her hesitation came from the fact that I'd never brought her here. Ever. She knew very little about my home life. I'd left it that way on purpose. Now I was thinking maybe she should know.

"Yeah. It's okay." I stopped outside the back door and smiled down at her. "Relax, Ang. Isn't that what you always tell me?"

"But, Jordan," she said, her eyes wide, "it's your MOM."

I kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand. "So? She doesn't bite."

I pushed the door open and tugged her inside with me. Ma froze when she caught sight of Angela, holding a mixing bowl in the air halfway to the open cabinet. Angela clung to my hand and moved closer to me.

When Ma got over her shock at seeing a girl standing in our kitchen, she put the bowl away and turned to face us. "Jordan, shouldn't you be at school?" she asked, glancing to Angela.

Instead of answering, I slid my free hand into my coat pocket and pulled out the test I'd put there earlier. "Here," I said, holding it out to her. "I don't have anything else today."

She took the test and scanned over it before folding it neatly and holding it in her hand. "I thought you had English?"

"We did, Ma, but we have a substitute." I glanced down at Angela who was standing as still as a statue. "This is Angela. We're going to hang out here until I have to go to work this afternoon."

"Okay," Ma turned back to the dishwasher and started pulling plates out to stack them on the counter. "Not in your bedroom, Jordan."

"Geez, Ma. I know." I moved across the room with Angela on my heels toward the den. I could hear Tom and Jerry on the TV as we got closer. "Joey," I called, as we entered the room. "Can we watch cartoons with you?"

"Joey?" Angela asked, speaking for the first time since we'd walked into the house. "Your friend is here?"

I chuckled, stopping in the middle of the floor as my Joey rounded the corner. I let go of Angela's hand as he launched himself at me. Hiking him up onto my hip, I turned him to face her.

Instead of the smile I expected to see on her face, her mouth was hanging open. Her porcelain skin was paler than normal. I frowned, looking from her to Joey and back.

"Jordan, is he..." she started, in a strangled whisper.

That's when it hit me. I didn't know whether to be hurt or amused. I mean, I know he looks like a miniature version of me, with the long hair and all, but I never expected her response.

"No!" I exclaimed, reaching for her hand again. "Angela, he's my little brother."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**Thanks for all the reviews... I can't stress enough how much they mean, seriously. Thanks for all that have favorited or followed this story and my others, too. I can't say if or when I'll ever go back to the original stories, but I'm glad you're enjoying them...**

"And Petey Pig said, 'I am happy just being a pig.' The end." Closing the book, Joey's current favorite, I turned to put in back in the basket on the floor by the end of the sofa.

"Read me another one, Jay," Joey said, bouncing up and down on the cushion between me and Angela. "Please!"

"Not right now, Joey." Catching him as he launched himself against me, I tightened my arms around his little body. "I have to take Angela home now."

"Nooooo," he whined loudly. "Don't take Angela home."

I looked at her over his head, returning her smile. I didn't want to take her home, but I had to. "I've got to, buddy. She has to get home and I have to go to work."

After the first few tense moments when she'd mistakenly thought Joey was my kid, she'd warmed up to him easily. He'd taken to her, too. For the last two hours, every other word out of his mouth was "Angela". He'd been between us on the sofa almost the entire time.

She reached out, running her hand over his little arm. I found myself getting jealous of my three year old little brother just then. "Maybe Jay can bring me back to see you some other time. Would you like that?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow?" He wiggled out of my lap and took Angela by the hand. "You can come and read to me again."

"I don't know about tomorrow," she laughed. "That's up to Jordan. But I bet he would read to you if you asked him to. He was doing a really good job."

"He does read to me. All the time. I like your voice, though." He tugged on her hand until she got up. "And I like your hair."

She rolled her eyes, blushing prettily, and brought her face around to look at me. "He likes my hair," she said, with a giggle.

Getting to my feet, I leaned close, nuzzling her cheek. "So do I. I like your voice, too. And your..."

"Jay," Ma called, interrupting me, just before she stepped into the room. I hurriedly put some distance between Angela and myself. "Your cousin said he doesn't need you at the garage today."

"I don't have to work?" I looked at Angela, catching her hopeful expression before I turned back to Ma.

Joey started jumping up and down, swinging Angela's hand from side to side. "YAY!" he yelled, "You don't gotta go to work."

"But I still have to get Angela home, though." Ruffling Joey's hair, I said, "I'll bring her back soon, buddy."

"No. I don't want her to go home." Joey wrapped himself around her legs and held on tight. "Stay."

She looked at me helplessly, laying her hand against the back of his head. "I can't, Joey."

"Yes, you can." He buried his face and mumbled. "Make her stay, Jay."

"Joey," Ma said, coming to the rescue. "Angela has to go home to her house. Jay said he'd bring her back." Ma moved over to Angela's side and took Joey by the shoulders, steering him away. "I'm sorry, Angela."

"Oh, no. It's okay." She flashed her beautiful smile at my mom. "He's a very sweet little boy."

Ma grinned. "Yes, just like his big brother." Hefting Joey up onto her hip, she said, "He's a miniature version of Jordan, don't you think?"

Angela giggled and nodded. "I do. The same hair and everything."

Groaning, I took Angela's hand in mine. Bending to her ear, I whispered, "I'm not sweet."

"Sometimes you are," she said, sharing a look with Ma.

"No. Not me." I leaned over to kiss Ma's cheek, then Joey's when he presented it to me. "I'm not sure when I'll be home, so don't save dinner for me."

"Okay, Jay. Just make sure you eat something." She glanced at Angela again and smiled. "It was nice meeting you, Angela."

"Same to you," Angela replied, hooking her hair behind her ear. "And it was nice meeting you too, Joey."

When we were back inside the safety of my car, she turned to me, chewing on her lip worriedly. "Jordan, I'm sorry. You know, about before? Well, I was a little surprised, 'cause he does look just like you."

To be honest, it had bothered me that she could think I had a kid. For one, I would have never kept something like that from her. And secondly, I've always made sure that I was extra careful. Not only was I not trying to ruin my life, I didn't want to be responsible for doing it to someone else.

"It's okay," I said softly, looking out the windshield. "He does look like me."

"It's not okay. I can tell that I hurt your feelings." Sliding closer to me on the seat, she laid her hand onto my thigh. "I didn't mean to."

"It's okay, really." I rolled my head toward hers on the headrest, finding her face inches from mine. "I know you didn't mean to."

"Because I would never do something to hurt you on purpose," she said in an almost whisper, leaning closer as if some invisible force was pulling her in.

My eyes drifted shut as she pressed her lips to mine, timidly at first, then with more force. Her fingers, moved up to my chest as her other hand tangled in my hair. I sat perfectly still as she kissed me, all the while fighting the urge to lay her back against the seat.

I couldn't do that. Not now. Not here.

Slowly, I brought my hand up to cup her cheek and pulled my lips from beneath hers. "Ang, we're still sitting in my driveway."

"So, take me somewhere." She kissed my jaw, next to my ear. "So, you know, we can be alone."

"So we can..." I trailed off, dragging my knuckles down the front of her throat.

"So we can do whatever we want." Pressing her body against my side, she said, "And then, whatever happens, happens."

My lips curved upward at the corners as I realized the irony of her using my words. I wasn't stupid enough to think that she was ready for that kind of thing with me yet. Not after everything that had happened before. It still made me happy to think that she was the one initiating things, though.

She was the one suggesting we find some privacy. That meant she wanted something more from me, even if she didn't realize it. Or maybe she did.

"We can go to the loft if you want. Or we can park down by the river." Or there were a hundred different places I could take her, but I wasn't going to suggest any of them.

"Or we could go to my house, now. My dad is gone and we have some time before Danielle gets home."

Leaning my face up into her kiss, I gently set her away from me. Pushing my hand into the front pocket of my now too tight jeans, I pulled the keys out and slid them into the ignition. I didn't even bother trying to hide the tale-tell sign of my reaction to her.

"You sure?" I asked, glancing at her quickly before I started the car.

Her nod was the only affirmation I needed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Her skin is so soft, I thought, trailing my fingers under the edge of her shirt. "You smell good," I whispered to her, kissing her jaw.

I pushed underneath, caressing her stomach. Wordlessly, I was asking for permission to go farther, scared that if I voiced the request aloud she'd make me stop. I wasn't ready to stop, not right now, not with me lying on top of her firmly nestled between her raised knees.

Her hands were tangled in my hair, holding me still as she moved her tongue against mine. When she didn't tell me to stop, I pushed my hand higher, brushing my fingers over her ribs. Slowly, I moved my hand even higher, cupping her breast through the lacy fabric covering it. I kneaded it gently as I pushed my hardness into her heated center drawing a low moan from her throat.

"Uhn," she whimpered, lifting her hips against mine.

I moved my lips over her jaw, down the side of her throat, as she wound her fingers more tightly in my hair. Her hips rocked against mine in a deliberate attempt to relieve some of the tension I knew had to be building inside her body. She was seeking her own form of release, even if she didn't know it. A release that I was more than willing to give her if she'd just let me...

"Jordan," she moaned, dragging my mouth back to hers.

I moved my hand away from her chest, skimming it over her ribs to rest against the waistband of her jeans. I wanted so badly to unbutton that top button, to slip my fingers over her soft curls, to slid them into her silky, moist heat... Even as the thoughts assailed me, I hardened painfully. There was no way the she could miss my body's reaction to her. She had to know what she was doing to me.

"Jordan," she moaned against my lips again.

Lifting my head, I stared down at her from beneath my lashes. My voice came out in a seductive whisper. "Yeah?"

"Please," she whimpered, unsure of what she was even asking of me.

"What do you want me to do, Ang?" I asked, the same as I do every time we get to this point, knowing that this is where she always stops me, but praying that she wouldn't.

Ever since that day, the day she went home with me, we'd pushed her boundaries. One afternoon lying on her bed, exploring each other, wasn't enough. Together, we tested her limits. Every chance we got to be alone, we took it. Wherever we could.

We'd done this on her bed, her sofa, the rug on her living room floor. We used the front seat of my car, never the back, and the hood. The boiler room. My bed, and now the sofa in the loft.

Today we were in the loft lying on the ratty sofa that was strategically placed facing away from the door. It was placed that way for this exact purpose. To offer a semblance of privacy in the wide open room.

One of her small hands let go of my hair and moved to where mine rested at her waist. "Touch me," she whispered, dragging it to the small metal snap keeping me from doing what I had just been dreaming about seconds before. "Please."

My eyes, locked on hers, were searching, questioning. We had never done this before. We'd never went beyond touching above the waist. She had to be certain this is what she wanted.

"Please," she whispered again, pressing against my fingers.

Shifting, I lifted my weight from atop her to lie by her side. Instead of unfastening her jeans, which I was pretty sure she wasn't ready for, I cupped her through the denim covering her most intimate area, grinding my palm against her mound. She arched up into my touch.

"Like this?" I asked, dropping my voice to the husky whisper that I knew drove girls crazy.

I continued to massage her through her jeans, all the while wishing I could remove this barrier between us and lose myself in her tight body. I wanted her so badly my whole body was aching. As much as I wanted to push her limits, I didn't want to push her away.

"Yes," she sighed breathlessly, arching into my touch.

Her hands tugged me back to her. Her lips sought mine as she bucked her hips against the rythym of my strokes. Her breathy moans and low whimpers of pleasure urged me on as I pushed her body higher, pressing my erection against her thigh.

I knew she'd never done this before. I knew she'd never let anyone touch her this way. It amazed me that after everything we'd been through I was allowed to be anywhere near her, much less touch her like this.

I could tell she was getting close. She began to move with an urgency I knew all too well. As her body grew taut, her breath catching in her throat, I pushed her higher. Her fingers bit into my shoulders. Her cry of pleasure as she went over the edge was lost inside the dark creavices of my mouth.

When her body collapsed back onto the sofa, I halted my movements. I kissed her gently once more, ducking my head to rest against her shoulder. As she lay beneath me spent, I needed a moment to get my own urges under control before I could move away from her completely.

Her fingers began a slow, gentle stroke of my hair. "Wow," she whispered, the wonder of what had just happened evident in her voice.

Despite the tightness behind my zipper, the almost unbearable discomfort, I chuckled, lifting my head. I grinned down at her. "Yeah?"

Her mouth stretched into a beautiful smile. "Yeah." Her eyes, still glazed and partially unfocused, found mine. "I had no idea."

I couldn't stop the knowing smirk from reaching my lips. Kissing her quickly, I rolled into a sitting position and tugged her up. "And we didn't take any clothes off," I teased, nuzzling her neck.

She leaned into me, sighing. "Jordan," she admonished softly.

"What?" I nudged her gently with my shoulder. When she didn't lift her head, I rushed to assure her. "I wasn't complaining, Ang. Just saying."

Her head lifted slowly, her gaze locked with mine. "I want..." she started, but was cut off by heavy footsteps on the stairs.

"Yo, Catalano! You decent?" came the voice of Tino, my often absent friend.

Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her tenderly. "Sorry," I mumbled, just seconds before Tino entered the room. "What?" I demanded, turning to scowl at him over the back of the sofa.

"Oh. Hey, Chase," he said, eying Angela with a funny look on his face.

"Um, hey," she replied, hooking her hair behind her ear. Her face flushed bright red as she looked down at her lap.

"Whataya want, Tino," I asked when he didn't say anything else.

He tore his gaze from Angela's bent head to look at me. "Saturday night," he said with no further elaboration.

"Huh?" Saturday night? As in the day after tomorrow? "What about it?"

Tino looked pointedly at Angela and shook his head, rolling his eyes. "You, me, a little trip to Jersey."

Running the shit his brother had jacked to Jersey to unload is what he meant. It was something we'd done more than once. It was easy money, considering all we had to do was deliver it and we got a cut of the profits.

"Not this Saturday." I got to my feet and pulled Angela up behind me. "I gotta somethin' to do this weekend."

"Something more important than this?" Looking at me skeptically, Tino continued, "Man, this is a big one. Bigger than ever. You gonna turn that down."

"Yup." I laced my fingers with her, tugging her with me toward the stairs. "We gotta go. See ya', man."

I expected her to comment, to ask about what Tino was saying, but she didn't. She remained quiet all the way to the car. Waiting for me to unlock the door, she slid across the seat to the middle and stopped.

"Thank you, Jordan," she said softly, lying her hand on my thigh as I put the key in the ignition.

"For what," I asked, catching her secret smile for the first time.

"For telling him you couldn't because you had something else to do." She leaned in and kissed me sweetly on the jaw.

My brow creased in confusion. Why was she thanking me? Had she really known what he was talking about? Maybe Graff had said something to her...

Then she explained it to me. "Because I know the last thing you really want to be doing is going to the dance, right?"

The dance.

Damn.

I forgot all about the dance.

What I'd meant was, I had to stay home with Joey this weekend 'cause Ma and Joe had planned a trip out of town, just the two of them, for Ma's birthday. Because Ma asked, and it was her birthday, I couldn't say no. I hadn't even given a thought to what weekend it was.

I closed my eyes, rolling my head back against the headrest and muttered "fuck".

"You forgot about the dance." Her hand dropped away. Her tone, flat and emotionless, gave nothing away. "Even though we've been talking about it for weeks."

I opened one eye to peek at her. She was chewing on the inside of her jaw, her lips were pursed angrily. She reached up to push her hair behind her ear. When she turned to look at me, I felt a twinge of fear because I knew she was about to let me have it.


	14. Chapter 14

Hi, guys! I know it's been a long, long while... Thanks to all that have continued to read and favorite my stories on here. I was missing JC so I decided to give him a visit. Enjoy! ~mary

So she was mad at me. Again. Because I forgot all about the stupid dance that I didn't want to go to in the first place. I'd only agreed to go because it was what she wanted me to do. It's what she expected me to do. Because we were, like, together now or whatever.

That's what couples did, she said. They went to stuff like that together. They went to school dances, they went to the movies, they went out on dates. All the things that we'd never really done. All things that I never really did with anyone. Mostly because I'd never really had a girlfriend before.

But she was my girlfriend now, right? I was supposed to want to do that stuff with her. I was supposed to be around her and her friends and spend time at her house with her family. I was supposed to bring her to my place and hang out with my ma and my little brother with her because we were a couple now. At least that's what she told me I was supposed to do while she was yelling at me in the front seat of my car a few days ago.

And what had I done? I'd sat there like an idiot and taken it all because I'd fucked up and forgotten about the dance. I was the reason she was upset and about to cry. Why shouldn't I let her have her say?

In the end, I'd taken her home and watched as she climbed from the car without a backward glance, not once telling her why I couldn't go. She'd slammed the door so hard it had rattled the whole car. She'd marched angrily up the front walk and let herself into the house, never once looking over her shoulder.

That was Thursday. Today was Saturday. The day of the dance.

It had been exactly two days since I'd pissed her off. Two days since I'd watched her eyes flash angrily at me as she blinked back tears of anger and frustration. Two whole days since I'd last talked to her. Was that normal when you were together? The being mad and not talking? Or did that mean we weren't together anymore? Hell, I don't know.

Like an idiot, I'd gotten up yesterday morning and drove to her house to pick her up for school. It was her little sister that came to the door to tell me Angela wasn't going to school. She said Angela was sick and in bed and I should just go away. Always subtle, that sister of hers.

I'd went to school alone, ended up going to half my classes and then skipping out to go to work at the garage. I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on all the work my cousin usually saved for me to do on Saturdays. When I got off work, I came home long enough to shower and actually eat dinner with the family for once before I headed to the loft for rehearsal.

It was really late when I got in and fell into bed. That's when I let myself think about Angela again. Mostly because I couldn't help myself. Why wasn't anything with her ever easy?

Now that it was Saturday, I had nothing to do but hang out at home with Joey. Ma and Joe had gotten an early start because I hadn't went to work. They were up and gone before Joey had even gotten out of bed. When he did finally get up, I fixed him a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and parked him next to me in front of the TV to watch cartoons. We passed the morning away that way.

Lunch was a sandwich and chips. We had strawberry jello for desert. Then we played with his matchbox cars on the living room floor. Spending time with Joey was easy. Pleasing him was easy. I just had to make sure he was fed and show him some attention when he asked for it.

By mid afternoon, we were both tired of being cooped up in the house. After strapping his booster seat into the back of my car, I took him to the park around the corner. It was one of his favorite places to go and I tried to take him there as often as I could.

While he ran around with a little boy close to his age, I sat in the grass leaning back against a large oak tree to watch him. I pulled my knees up in front of me, feet spread wide, and picked at the grass beneath my letting my mind wander back to a certain redhead who had the knack of driving me crazy. She seemed to get under my skin like no other girl ever could.

Joey ran by me laughing, followed by his new little friend. Just once, I made eye contact with whom I assumed was his mother; a young blond woman in her early twenties. Truthfully, if it hadn't been for Angela, I would have approached her and tried to strike up a conversation. So, instead of trying to talk to her, I returned her smile and sought mini-me out as he played.

I let him run and run until he was tired. We stayed so long that the sun started to dip down in the sky. When he finally dropped down into my lap, he yawned.

"I'm ready to go home now, Jay," he murmured sleepily as he rubbed his eyes.

With his little body cradled in my arms, I got to my feet and headed to the car nodding once to the mother of his playmate as I passed. He looked up at me through the hair covering his eyes and smiled as I buckled him in. By the time I got him home, he was fast asleep.

I unfastened his seat belt and lifted him into my arms again, carrying him to the door. Fumbling with the keys, I finally got the door unlocked and open. I laid him down onto the sofa, tucking the afghan from the back of the cushion around him. I leaned over and kiss him on the forehead.

As I straightened, I caught the reflection of the clock behind me in the mirror hanging on the wall behind the sofa. Closing my eyes, I cringed thinking that I should have been getting ready to go to that stupid dance. I pictured Angela sitting on her bed, crying, because I'd been a complete ass and forgotten about what might have been the most important event in our budding relationship.

Well, there's nothing I could do about it now, I thought, glancing down at the little guy fast asleep on the sofa below. I was stuck with him and couldn't go anywhere. Not that I minded watching him, but still.

With a deep sigh, I walked around the den collecting Joey's cars and tossing them into the laundry basket Ma used as a toy box. I stacked all of his books into a neat pile on the coffee table and tucked his shoes beneath the edge of the end table. After I finished picking everything up, I made my way into the kitchen to preheat the oven for the chicken and rice casserole Ma had left in the refrigerator for us.

I had just popped it into the oven and poured myself a glass of milk when I heard a knock on the kitchen door. Wondering who it may be, I set my glass aside and scrubbed my sleeve over my mouth. I walked over to the door and pulled it open without looking to see who was there. To say I was surprised was putting it mildly. With my mouth hanging open, I stared at the girl in front of me, sure I was imagining her.

"Uh. Hey, Ang," I said, feeling my brow draw into a frown. I lifted my hand to scratch the back of my head. "Whatcha doing here?"

She was no less angry, it would seem, than when I'd last seen her. With her arms crossed over her chest and her jaw set, she snapped, "I came to find out what was so important that you'd forget about going to the dance with me."

"Look," I started, shifting from one foot to the other. "I'm sorry. I had something to do."

"Like what?" She pushed her way past me, looking around. I shut the door and turned back to her. Despite the anger, I could see the hurt shimmering in her eyes. "Hanging out at home?"

"I wanted to go with you, okay?" I raised my hand, palm up, and took a step closer to her. "There was something I couldn't get out of."

"What, Jordan?" she demanded, taking a step toward me. "What was it? Tell me."

I took hold of her sleeve when she was a foot from me. "Ma and Joe are out of town, Ang," I whispered urgently, "It's my mom's birthday."

"So." Her jaw worked as she fought to control her emotions. "That doesn't mean you couldn't go."

Tugging on her arm, I pulled her down the hall with me toward the den despite her protests. I stopped just outside the room and touched my finger to my lips to shush her. I didn't want her to wake him yet. Not until I explained that I never meant to hurt her. Stepping through the door, I pulled her with me.

Her brow furrowed into a deep frown as her eyes traveled the room before landing on Joey's sleeping form on the sofa. She swung her gaze up to mine, her eyes questioning. Then, something so completely out of character for her, she smacked my chest with her open palm.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Jordan?" she whispered. "I would have understood."

I reached up with the hand that wasn't holding onto her and rubbed the stinging spot her hand had left. "I dunno."

"You should have told me," she repeated, staring up at me. "I wouldn't have been so mad if I'd known."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, dropping her arm.

I brought my thumb up to my mouth and started to chew on the side of it, giving away my nervousness. Which was stupid, because why was I nervous? She was here, right? And she didn't seem to be so angry anymore.

She brought her hand up, resting it against my bicep. The soft smile that graced her lips made her even prettier than she already was. All I wanted at that moment was to kiss her. I fought hard to restrain myself, afraid that she'd push me away.

"You know, Jordan," she said softly, "It was never about going to the dance. It was about me and you, going to the dance together."

"Yeah?" I asked, looking down into her green eyes.

"Yeah." She leaned against me, pushing herself onto her toes. She kissed my cheek before I realized what she was doing. "I didn't really want to go anyway."

"You didn't?" I asked, frowning.

"No," she admitted, slipping her arms around my waist. Of their own accord, mine closed around her. "I just wanted to be with you."

Because I couldn't not kiss her, I lowered my head and claimed her upturned lips. She kissed me back with an urgency that I didn't expect. When I pulled away and looked down at her, her eyes were still closed and the smile on her face was still there.

Her lashes lifted slowly. "So, you're home alone?" she asked, unable to hide the blush that stained her cheeks as soon as the words fell from her lips.

"Nah, Joey's here," I reminded her, motioning over her shoulder toward the sofa with my chin.

"Oookay." She ducked her head and mumbled, "But other than your three year old little brother, we're here alone?"

"Well, yeah," I said, unable to stop the grin from stretching across my lips. "Ma won't be home until tomorrow night."

"Want some company?" She asked, looking up at me from beneath her lashes.

"Who?" I questioned playfully. "You?" I laughed when she pinched my side. "I guess I don't mind if you stay."

I hugged her to me, pulling her scent into my lungs as I buried my face in her hair. Her arms tightened around me. If it weren't for Joey stirring behind us, I would have held her that way forever.

When I started to pull back, releasing her, she whispered my name. "Yeah, Ang?"

"My mom thinks I'm at the dance," she confided in a small voice. "I was supposed to stay at Rayanne's tonight. I don't have to be home until tomorrow."

Then, removing herself from my embrace, she turned to where Joey was now sitting up on the sofa. She went to him, ruffling his hair as she dropped down beside him. She sat there, looking completely innocent and cute as hell as she talked to my little brother.

Now how in the hell was I supposed to act like she hadn't just handed me the most exciting, the most frightening news of my life?


End file.
